It's not you, it's me.

I had a great first date last Wednesday night. We were set up by a friend who thought we might be a good match. I knew she had called several of my friends before meeting me to get their opinion on who I was, and that they had all said great things about me. I arrived early, but not too early, decked out in my best looking outfit with my hair looking perfectly messy, but not too messy. I was nervous, determined to make a good impression because I had heard so many good things about her.

Her father had called the day before and asked that I meet with him before the date. I knew this meant she must be really interested, if I was already going to meet the parents. Dad and I hit it off great. We shared common interests and made easy small talk. After we talked for awhile I met my date. She was everything I hoped she would be and more. Over dinner we made easy conversation, laughing at each others jokes without any awkward silences. After dinner we got into deeper conversation, sharing our hopes and dreams for the future. I was sure we wanted the same things and would be together for awhile. I knew she would make me better and I could make her better. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a perfect match. We eventually parted ways with a smile, with her telling me I would her from her again soon.

As soon as it was over I joined some close friends and told them all about it over ice cream and red wine. I raved about how much I liked her and how well I thought the first date had gone. I've been on a lot of first dates lately, and I felt like this was my best one. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I had a good feeling about this one.

She called me Monday, even earlier than I expected to hear from her. I was sure we'd be setting up a second date. "It's not you, it's me," she told me. "You're a great guy and I wish you the best, but I just don't see it working out between us."

I closed my phone, wondering where I had gone wrong. How had I misread the signals? A friend told me, "It just wasn't meant to be." I know that's probably the case, but getting dumped still sucks.

UPDATE 4/22/06

Yes, this whole post was a metaphor for my job hunt. I had an interview with a church's pastor and search committee, and thought I nailed it. My references had already been called and they had said great things about me. The pastor and I talked one-on-one and we got along great. I thought the search committee really had their stuff together and was sure I impressed them. They called me Monday and told me that "The Lord was leading them in another direction." Sorry, but for me that's the same as getting dumped with a "it's not you, it's me," line. I mentioned to Dr. Gannon that I respected their descision, but I'd really like to know their reasons for going in another direction. So he called the pastor and actually got me some good feedback about my interview. If you want to know specifically what the pastor said said, just ask me.

The job search hasn't been all bad news though. The same day I got "dumped" by the church described in this post, another church I really liked called me for a second interview with just the pastor. That was yesterday and seemed to go well. He said I should here from him Monday or Tuesday to schedule a day for me and Jana to meet other key staff and members of the church. I also had a first interview with another church last Thursday, and they called me earlier today to schedule a second interview. So there are good things happening. Any prayers you feel like offering are appreciated though.