If I Only Had a Boob

In the Wizard of Oz the characters go on their journey looking for that thing they lack in order to feel fulfilled. The scarecrow sings a song,"If I only had a brain...". At this point in my life I feel I should join the delegation on the Yellowbrick Road to fulfillment, I need a boob. Ok I have two boobs so more specifically I need a Mammary gland or as on Meet the Fockers a "Mannary Gland" I am afraid that my daughter will only associate me with things like the cold misreable feeling of changing her diaper, or the pain of burping or the simple daily task of seeing my ugly mug. My wife on the other hand will be associated with the warmth of warm milk, sustinance, and the peaceful feeling of a warm full tummy. I need a BOOB!!! This might seem like a silly rant to many of you but I mean what I say if there is such a thing as a Mannary gland let me know I am in the market.
Pax
Stephen