Judge Stephen

This week I had the experience of serving on two different juries. In my time of service I served on two criminal trials. They both were for the drug Methamphetamine. I am not writing about the problem of this drug, although there is a serious problem.
This was my first time in the jury box and the entire time I thought to myself, “Man, I wonder what they are going to decide on this one?” Then I realized, “Oh Shit!?! I have to decide on the next 10 to 20 years of this mans life” Judging and deciding another’s possibly next 2 decades is a gut wrenching process. I was literally torn with feelings of duty and grief. I knew he was guilty but wanted him to be innocent, to have a second chance, to be able to experience freedom tomorrow, but he was not and did not go to sleep that night a free man. I had no reason to feel sorry for him, to have sympathy or to want freedom for him, but I did.
As I walked out of the Court that afternoon some words of a high school friend came bursting into my head, “God’s glory is shown when those who are not His chosen receive their eternal punishment.” I disagreed with him then and I am completely offended now. I believe God loves God’s creation, not only loves but is in love with it. I did not know this man on trial and I hurt to the deepest part of my soul. It is so difficult for me to look at God the same way as I was told I had to.
I do not know if I think that God hates judgment or punishment but I am convinced that God does not enjoy it if God does it. I am not a universalist, at least not yet, but give a couple of more jury duties under my belt and check back with me then.
Pax
Stephen